*loyalty implies a faithfulness that is steadfast in the face of any temptation to renounce, desert, or betray
After the awesome discussion on Blog-talk Radio Show Tuesday night, I was asked a couple of off-topic questions (which resulted in this very post):
- What is the difference between and owned sub and a community slut sub?
- How difficult is it to stay loyal with so many Dommes out there trying to poach subs?
To the best of My knowledge, “owned” implies that the s-type is serving ONLY one D-type at a time (unless otherwise specified). In the world of BDSM, ownership of a s-type isn’t something that should be thrown around like candy at a parade; Which, incidentally, is what happens when “new” (un-educated) D-types come onto the scene.
Some D-types have a long process for collaring someone, some do not. There is no right way to do it, so long as you’re utilizing common sense you *should* be fine. Remember; Consent is key in BDSM.
A “community sub” usually serves more than one D-type at a time. This isn’t a bad idea IF you’re honest and communicate with the D-types you play with. The problem you’ll run into is: wanting to please MANY D-types but not being able to due to being spread too thin. Ultimately, most community subs end up burning out quickly due to supply and demand; They simply cannot keep up with the D-types they serve.
Some D-types enjoy co-topping an s-type. Again: COMMUNICATION is important.
Staying Loyal is a choice. If you truly want to serve a D-type, the best route is to be 100% honest with them from the start.
Regarding “poaching” — if you were loyal, poaching wouldn’t be an issue. If you fall for every DM you read, you deserve whatever you get. Use some common sense. Additionally: if you are owned, do not message/solicit other D-types without permission of your Dominant. It is called respect, learn it.
As for the Ladies that may read this… (tips)
- Before you get bent out of shape that someone is “poaching” your sub, perhaps you should do a little research. It is HIGHLY likely that your supposed loyal sub has contacted another Domme behind your back. (timmy knows how this works).
- If you suspect something, address it WITH the people involved, NOT a public forum. Airing your laundry for the whole community to see will reflect badly on you as a D-type.
- Loyalty applies to FemDom’s as well. If you talk badly about another FemDom in a public forum (where She has a lot of friends), realize that there are still loyal people out there and She will find out.Loyalty extends to everyone in the #FemDomSisterhood.
Yes, BDSM is great! It’s a lifestyle I’ve been happily part of for a while. Did I learn everything I know after reading a few books? No. Did I learn everything by studying ancient methods of corporal punishment? No. I learned from observing, trial and error, hands-on experience, and living this lifestyle for nearly 10 years. Mistakes happen. What matters is how you handle your mistakes: with dignity or disgrace.
Thanks for reading!
– Miss Taphophile